Sitka Unveils An Innovative Foolproof Jaywalking Crosswalk System

After years of intensive research, Sitka unveiled a novel, foolproof crosswalk system that will vastly improve pedestrian safety. This becomes especially timely after two tourist pedestrians were recently injured crossing the street. With the influx of large numbers of tourists, there is a jaywalking problem with many reported near accidents.

The system developed by Sitka is devilishly simple. With this new system, a pedestrian can cross at any portion of the road they desire without fear of injury. The first step is to pray to the patron Saint of Drivers, Saint Christopher, than Cross yourself and step into traffic. The campaign is called CROSS BEFORE YOU WALK and that is why they call them “Crosswalks!” It was felt that since no one was doing anything about the pervasive jaywalking problem, prayer was the cheapest and next best option.

Just Follow These Simple Instructions Before You Cross The Street.

CAUTION: Please Remember The Vulcan Hand Sign Will Not Work.